literature

30 Reasons Twilight Sucks

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Literature Text

Reasons Twilight Sucks

1. Bella is a horny Mary-Sue Queen.

2. Apparently, having a guy glare at you all the time makes them attractive.

3. Vampires sparkle.

4. Twilight shows a seriously abusive relationship as "true love".

5. The weather in Forks is inaccurate.

6. New Moon in a nutshell: "Angst angst, emo, cry, jump off cliff, angst angst angst - yay we're together again!"

7. The entire series is a sexual fantasy.

8. The grammar is very poor.

9. Twilight has basically no plot.

10. Twilight is 150% sexist.

11. The author never researched any of the "facts" she put in the books.

12. The author glamorizes mental disorders, suicide, and stalking.

13. Twilight teaches that disrespecting and abandoning your family is OKAY.

14.  The characters have very little background information.

15. Bella uses Jacob a LOT. Some friend she is.

16. Jacob sexually abuses Bella.  Some friend he is.

17. Bella love love looovvveeesss Edward's smooth, sparkling, marble stone, pale, sculpted body and his melted butterscotch, topaz, golden, godlike eyes.  And that's about it.  

18. Twilight teaches that teenage pregnancy and early marriage are OKAY.

19. The story is pretty much about a girl's choice between necrophilia or bestiality.

20. Apparently, dead guys can still produce living sperm.

21. Apparently, a teenage girl's belly can stretch and grow and produce a baby in ONE MONTH.

22. Edward gives another guy permission to have sex with his wife if he can convince her to have an abortion.

23. Bella getting physically injured from sex doesn't bother her at all.

24. They name their kid "Renesmee"

25. Jacob is a pedophile.

26. Edward is also a pedophile.  It's based on years, not on body.

27. Bella's only "flaw" (clumsy) is actually something that is meant to enhance her to seem cuter, therefore making her a bland and unrealistic character.

28. The "final battle" of the series involves nothing but standing and talking.

29. The story fails to follow the structure of the Literary Elements taught to most in Grade Schools.

30. Twilight fans have actually injured people who spread the word about Twilight sucking.
I know, this isn't exactly original but I had to vent because I have HAD IT.

Somebody needs to let parents know about this book.



If you're a fan, give me 30 reasons Twilight doesn't suck and make sure none of those reasons contradict these reasons that it sucks and do NOT even BREATHE about the characters being "hot".
© 2009 - 2024 sterces7
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Boschian-Fantasies's avatar
Also, a lot of anime, manga and video games also romanticize abusive relationships, sexism and are filled to the brim with sex toy female characters, some of them being underaged little girls!

Yes, Twilight is bad, but don't deny that there is fucked up shit in video games, anime and manga.